The Life Advice I've Picked Up From the TV and Films I Love
A collection of quotes from movies and television shows that have shaped how I see the world
Have you ever had a fictional character say exactly what you needed to hear, at exactly the right moment?
Over the years, I’ve jotted down lots and lots of quotes and sayings from TV shows and movies that have really struck me for one reason or another, and so I thought it was about time I rounded them all up in one place!
So here’s a collection of some of the best life advice I’ve ever received, from people who don’t technically exist…
“I say if we go down after two years, it'll be the most exciting two years of our lives.”
Lorelai Gilmore, played by Lauren Graham
Gilmore Girls (Season 2, Episode 8: The Ins and Outs of Inns)
This line is a burst of the classic Lorelai optimism that we all know and love, and I immediately scribbled it down in my notebook as something to remember.
As a bit of context, Lorelai and Sookie (Melissa McCarthy) are talking about wanting to open their own inn together, and good old Michel (Yanic Truesdale) warns them that most new businesses fail within two years. But instead of being put off, Lorelai flips the whole thing on its head. If it fails, so what? It’ll still have been worth doing.
Because if you leap into a new chapter and give it everything you have, the worst-case scenario is still a period of your life filled with learning and excitement. It might not work out, sure, but you’ll have tried, and you might have had a bit of fun along the way. That’s what life is all about, right?
Sometimes, the joy is simply in the chasing of the dream, and getting to do something you love, for however long that may be.
“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
Ron Swanson, played by Nick Offerman
Parks & Recreation (Season 4, Episode 16: Sweet Sixteen)
Any Parks & Rec fan has got a ton of life advice from this show, and this is one of its shining examples from the main man himself.
Ron says this to Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) when she’s trying to run for city council and hold down her full-time job at the same time, spreading herself thinner and thinner until she starts dropping the ball on things she’d never normally miss.
Why I love this line so much is that Ron’s not telling Leslie to want less, he’s just telling her a different way to approach getting what she wants. Essentially, he’s saying: if you really want this one thing, you have to go all in on it for a while. Give it your best shot, and then you’ll know that if it works out, it’s because you did everything you should have.
And, on the other hand, if it doesn’t work out, then you know it just wasn’t meant to be, because you tried your best, you put your all into it. So you won’t be left with that feeling of if I’d just tried a bit harder, maybe things would have been different.
Thank you, Ron. You always know the right thing to say.
“I don’t need backups. I’m going to Harvard.”
Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon
Legally Blonde (2001)
In my mind, this is sort of a mix of Ron and Lorelai’s approach in action.
It’s all about the power of self-belief when nobody else is offering it to you, as Elle didn’t let other people’s doubt become her reality. By refusing to give herself an easy way out, she backed herself completely, and this has been a pretty important life lesson for me.
Because when you decide that there’s no alternative route, you force yourself to bring your entire energy and determination to plan A. Now, there is a lot to be said for having a plan B, of course, but, equally, having one foot out the door just-in-case can sometimes lead to a bit of self-sabotage. This confident approach that Elle took allowed her to go all in, rather than having that niggling sense of what’s my escape route?
And ultimately, this level of commitment shifts your mindset from “I hope this works” to “Hell yeah, I am going to make this work.”
“Worry is but undernourished enthusiasm.”
Moira Rose, played by Catherine O’Hara
Schitt’s Creek (Season 6, Episode 13: Everything’s Coming Up Roses)
What a way to think about it. If we all approached things how Moira does, maybe we’d all be able to make a little bit more sense of what goes on in our heads.
How many hours make up the days you’ve spent worrying about something? For me, I know it’s a lot. Yet, as Moira points out here, worry and excitement can be two sides of the same coin. They both come from caring deeply about an outcome, and so instead of letting that energy turn into a massive puddle of dread, we can choose to feed the positive side instead.
As, realistically, if we’re worried about something, we can’t often switch it off. Because your brain is trying to protect you, it thinks there’s something it needs to protect you from. So this approach from Moira helps change your perspective, as it’s saying that feeling you are already having actually has the potential to help, not hinder, if it’s in the right form. Give your worry a little love, a little grace, and it might become something else; something better.
“You can do anything if you’re willing to fall flat on your face.”
Rufus Humphrey (said via Jenny Humphrey), played by Matthew Settle
Gossip Girl
You’ll have to forgive me on this one, as I’m not sure exactly what episode it was from, and I’m also not sure I have the quote 100% accurate; I just had it written down in my notes from when I did my first-time watch of Gossip Girl earlier this year.
What I love about it is how it tackles the fear of failure. We often hold ourselves back because we get scared of looking silly or not knowing exactly how to do something. So here, Rufus is telling us that the secret to achieving anything really is simply being brave enough to try, even if everything goes completely belly-up.
When you accept that falling flat on your face is simply part of the journey, it takes away the pressure. You can go after your biggest goals with complete freedom, as if you do stuff it up then all you have to do is dust yourself off, have a giggle if you can, and try again.
It’s a freeing perspective on taking risks, and it’s an excellent reminder that the only true mistake is never trying at all.
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. You know, in nine hundred years of time and space, I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important before.”
The Eleventh Doctor, played by Matt Smith
Doctor Who (A Christmas Carol, 2010 Christmas Special)
God, I love this so much.
And what I love so much is that it didn’t come from an empowered speech; it was almost like a throwaway comment, and that’s why it was so well done. For me, as someone who has often struggled with mental health, this almost blasé way of The Doctor just being like, well I never for a second thought that person wouldn’t be important because everyone is important - it scratched something in my brain.
All the things that The Doctor has seen: past, present, and future, and he still sees ordinary human life as being something incredible. Yes, I know it’s all fictional lol, but, still, it reminds you that we’re all of value, and you don’t have to do something unbelievably impressive to be important; you just have to be you.
“I just try to live every day as if I’ve deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.”
Tim Lake, played by Domhnall Gleeson
About Time (2013)
One of my all-time favourite films for many reasons, and one of them being this particular line.
I sometimes come back to this quote if I’m stuck in that spiral of thinking that life maybe isn’t as “exciting” as I’d hoped it would be. I’ve always been a bit of a free spirit and want my life to be full of adventure and fun, but this sentiment serves as a good reminder that adventure can take many different forms throughout your life.
When you imagine that you’ve actively chosen to travel back to this exact, ordinary Tuesday just to experience it, you see the value in all the moments that make up a day. Waking up to the person you love, having a laugh, learning something, showing kindness, things going a bit wrong but then they come back right again. We get so caught up in our lives, so tangled up in all the hours, lost in the tasks we have to do, and, yet, each second of it is something; it’s part of our lives.
For me, it’s always been such a stunning piece of advice that celebrates a beautiful way to live, giving us a reminder that our ordinary lives are actually pretty extraordinary.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Ferris Bueller, played by Matthew Broderick
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
My man, Ferris. He just got it. We go through so many days that just whizz by, and we often want days to go fast. We start the week, complaining it’s Monday, counting down until the weekend. Ferris’s advice is that sunny, timeless reminder to press pause on the hamster wheel we often find ourselves on.
And if About Time reminds us to appreciate the ordinary of life, we also do need those reminders of what it’s like to just be carefree in order to really do so. To see a day as something to enjoy and experience, not just get through. And we don’t all have to sing and dance in parades, or drive sports cars around town, but we do have to remember to look around and take it all in. This wild and wonderful world we live in, the people we get to giggle with, the things we get to do and learn. It’s all pretty incredible.
Ferris was alive to live, and we can all learn something from that.
“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers…”
Mark Renton, played by Ewan McGregor
Trainspotting (1996)
While this iconic, breathless opening monologue is delivered with a healthy dose of cynicism, there’s some pretty relatable life advice we can all take on board.
Renton is pointing out how easy it is to sleepwalk through life, ticking off the boxes of what society tells us we should want: the career, the appliances, the perfect home, without ever stopping to ask if any of it makes us happy. It’s a protest against conformity, and a reminder to stop chasing things just because they are on a checklist that somebody else made.
Your life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be complete, and you don’t have to buy into the standard consumerist dream if it doesn’t feed your soul. It’s about choosing a life that feels right to you, even if it looks a bit unconventional to everyone else. Don’t just choose the default future, choose one that you actually want to live.
“I can’t stop Andy from growing up. But I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Woody, voiced by Tom Hanks
Toy Story 2 (1999)
I love this Toy Story quote in particular because, to me, it’s about accepting that everything has its time and place.
Woody would have loved Andy to have stayed a kid forever, but, deep down, he knows that’s not the best thing for Andy. So, in saying this, Woody is realising that his purpose is to be there for Andy when he needs him to be.
Often what throws us off in our eternal search for happiness is the fact that we can’t control things. But none of us have any control over time or how it plays out, and, I guess like Ferris also said, all we can do is try not to miss it. We have to take what’s there and enjoy it for what it is.
Letting go of what we want things to be can be painful, but holding on too tightly to a previous chapter prevents us from enjoying the beautiful things happening in the one we are currently in. Woody teaches us that loving someone, or something, means letting them evolve, and finding joy in witnessing that growth. I guess, in the end, it’s about leaning into the seasons of our lives instead of fighting them.
“I just wanted you to be happy. That’s all.”
Leo, played by Channing Tatum
The Vow (2012)
Leo stepped back, despite still loving Paige (Rachel McAdams) the same way he always had, because he knew it wasn’t making her happy anymore, and her happiness was more important than how he felt. That’s true love right there. Selfless and unconditional.
This might not sound like your typical seize-the-day type of life advice, but I took this to heart; my own broken, wobbly bobbly heart.
Because there becomes a moment when you realise that you can love someone, but know that you aren’t right for them, or you can’t give them what they need, or they might simply not love you the way that you love them, and so you have to be unselfish and let them go. As if you do truly love them, then you do just want them to be happy, even if that means without you.
It’s a hard life lesson to learn, but it can make all the difference to how you are able to move forward.
“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
John Keating, played by Robin Williams
Dead Poets Society (1989)
This wonderful life lesson from Dead Poets Society will always have a place in my heart. I loved it the moment I heard it, and every day since.
For most of us, it’s unavoidable that we’ll have to go to work, to make a living, to spend a chunk of our day doing something more practical than creative. And, of course, we need the practical jobs to build the houses we live in and keep our societies running. But, what’s our reason for doing so? We need the creative things to make us feel glad we’re alive to inhabit those houses and take part in those societies. The music playing, the book you can’t put down, the films that make you weep and laugh and make you think differently about the world.
The importance of art, particularly right now in the artificial revolution we face, is something I’ve talked about previously on my blog, and Keating’s words here are a glorious validation for anyone who finds their greatest joy in the arts.
“That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.”
Greys Anatomy (Season 6, Episode 2: Goodbye)
This was said in the voice-over at the beginning of the episode, the first half by Izzie (Katherine Heigl), then by Derek (Patrick Dempsey).
When we think about life advice, it can often be about changing something: your life, your perspective, etc. Here, it’s about allowing things to be, as they are, but believing in something will be different down the line. It just asks you to hang on until you get there.
And, if I’m totally honest, this saying did help me through a period of intense grief in my life. Because you don’t think you will feel any different than what you do right then. Laughter exists only in another room, happiness under some other sky. And I needed this to remind me to believe that the pain would eventually ease, even if that feels completely impossible in the present moment. Grey’s may have broken my heart multiple times over the years with its emotional rollercoasters, but, here, it did help put it back together again.
“Guilt is a small price to pay for happiness.”
Bree Van de Kamp, played by Marcia Cross
Desperate Housewives (Season 6, Episode 1: Nice is Different Than Good)
Okay, granted, Bree was saying this in order to justify an affair, which is not what I took the advice for lol, but divorced from its content (sorry for the pun), it just struck a chord with me.
Because, throughout our lives, we may have to make decisions that make us feel guilty, i.e. do something that maybe someone we love doesn’t agree with, or will be disappointed by, but we know it will make us happy. So what do we choose? Well, the temporary worry of feeling a bit guilty is a tiny obstacle compared to the lasting happiness of doing what you love, or being with someone you love.
We are often conditioned to be people-pleasers, putting everyone else’s expectations and comfort ahead of our own joy. But living your life solely to keep other people happy is a surefire way to end up feeling completely hollow. Sometimes, you have to be a little bit selfish to protect your own peace, and if that ruffles a few feathers, then so be it. A tiny splash of guilt is worth it for a lifetime of living the one and only life you got, the way you want to live it.
“I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine.”
Mimi Marquez, played by Rosario Dawson
Rent (2005)
Rent is my favourite thing in the world, and I credit it with saving my life on many occasions. It has so many amazing parts to it that I could quote, but this particular line in La Vie Boheme has helped cut through what I’ve always believed in my sometimes-a-little-bit-messed-up mind.
We all have our stuff; we all have baggage that we bring to the table in relationships, friendships, just day-to-day life. And what this lyric does is reassure you that you don’t have to give up on your own happiness because you feel like you’re a little damaged or broken, as there will be someone out there who understands you, who makes room for what baggage you have.
Things don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to be perfect, to have things work out. We’re all just looking for the people who don’t care how you show up, as long as you do show up. They want to be with you because of everything that you are, and you no longer have to pretend to be something else.
And I think that's the perfect note to end this whole list on.
Every single person and character on here, from Lorelai Gilmore and Ron Swanson to Ferris Bueller and John Keating, they're all just proof that we don't need to have it figured out to go after a good life. Baggage and all, worry and all, fear of falling flat on our faces and all, we all deserve happiness.
None of these people may exist beyond the screen, but they've helped me through grief, reminded me to be braver, encouraged me to slow down, and nudged me towards a life that feels a little more like my own. That’s the amazing thing about television and cinema, and I’m so grateful for it every day.
Now, it’s your turn! Let me know in the comments any life advice you’ve taken from fictional people, and any stories you’d like to share about how it helped you.
“No amount of money ever bought another second of time”. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) Avengers: Endgame.
"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" Adult Gordie (Richard Dreyfuss), Stand by Me
Here is one I like;
"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them". - Jodi Picoult
And another;
"Hate doesn't punish who you think it does". - Jim Carey (Kidding)
They remind me to try and be gentle with people, because you never know what is going on in their lives, what experiences have shaped them, and how they may be feeling right now.
I wont claim to always get this right. I can be sarcastic and dismissive and judgmental. But in my better moments, words like this inspire me to keep trying.